Contrary to all I have been taught and all I have lived, I am changing my strategy. Here is why. My new book, The Angel Opens Her Eyes, has been in the planning stages for a few years. This September 2019 I made the commitment to investigate a potential business partner for this project, by flying to L.A; alone! No, I am not the ‘lofty’ author type who jets around the country easily. In fact, if I’m getting on an airplane, it’s really important to me. I love to fly but I find the work of travel exhausting.and in general, I am a homebody!
After returning from that trip, the possibility of writing this book became a reality. The L.A. business partners secured, I cleared my calendar and dove into writing. But, after a solid outline and some scattered research, I found the work emotionally taxing. You see, this book is very different from the other six that I have created. Those books were fun, colorful and pleasant children’s books. I loved writing them! But The Angel requires so much more; data collection about children with Autism, research about food reactions with people living on the Autism Spectrum, the very controversial vaccine reaction information to include seizure activity and in some cases, death of young children and so much more. Also, The Angel requires I look back at my life; how I handled issues with my family and friends, decisions I made in past about how to proceed when there was little support for families living on the Autism Spectrum, and lots of anger, resentment, panic and fear. Yes, this book is very, very different.
So, I quit. I quit writing it. I didn’t tell anyone, but I quit. I worked on The Rescue of Princess Topaz, began a project to convert The Story of Sister Sun and Sister Moon to a bilingual Spanish and English book and moved my office to the downstairs that previously housed Miss Sue’s Child Care. Everything and anything to avoid working on that book! During that period, I let myself rest. Just let the resistance of the project rest assigning no guilt to myself. I guess I let myself off the hook for a bit by not requiring I ‘push through’ the unpleasantness of this new book project. After a while, I had no idea how to begin again. So, I waited, prayed about it and when I meditated, I would ask for guidance on what to do. I want to write this book because I want to be a disruptive innovator in the Autism world. I want to heal myself and my family and I want to tell our story. It’s a success story in the end and I hope it will help others find the path we did. A path away from the Autism Spectrum.
Some time passed, and I started to be interested in a Facebook page about castles, mansions and other lovely old buildings. I have always loved architecture so this was right up my alley. All of the castles were all in Europe, so I wondered about the United States. Did we have any castles or mansions worthy of being called such here in the states? They must be truly old and it would be great if there was a love story to tell as well. After some research, I found Boldt Castle in New York, and wrote a small article about it. It was fascinating and a real love story! Very joyful writing but I was a little concerned. Another detour from The Angel, I thought? Well, at least I was writing again. But, amazingly, that little detour paid off. I found I could do the heavy, negative research about Autism, then flip immediately to working on my castles project. It worked! I wasn’t devastated after a day of writing The Angel like before, but instead I was looking forward to finding out more about the old buildings I love to discover. It’s a “Quid Pro Quo” a sort of favor for favor. I work on the Angel for a defined period, then research the castles and mansions. Now, The Angel Opens Here Eyes, is well on it’s way. I KNOW how to do this now!
Believe me, this is a relatively new concept for me but it’s life changing. I know sometimes we can’t take time to chill, stop or rest. I spent years eating my lunch quickly while young children were sitting at the table. Days and days in a chair outside under a tree being the referee while kids played in the yard and hours at the bus stop keeping kids entertained and safe waiting for the bus. I get it and understand life can be very demanding. But, I think we get in that fast-paced gear, and forget to relax when we can. Perhaps, what we really need to do is give ourselves a break. Instead of “making it happen”or proceeding regardless of the discomfort it causes us every single minute of every single day, just remember to chill sometimes. Maybe, we need to STOP when we can. To love ourselves enough to take care of ourselves physically, spiritually and emotional.
To me, next year is the year of clear vision; 2020. My intention is to be clear enough to stay focused on what is important, my care, my family, my friends, my charities and my work. This sounds selfish I know, but think about it. If we are not settled, strong and focused, who can we really help?No one. A room of confused, angry and weak people has no chance. There has to be someone clear, settled and strong to make a difference! Certainly, The Angel Opens Her Eyes will require me to be clear, very clear and very strong to proceed. I wish the same clarity and strength in your life.